A popular misconception about online matchmaker sites is that the online feature is the ultimate goal. A funny cartoon that appeared in the New Yorker clip illustrated this point. It showed a couple walking down a beach, enjoying a romantic second. The man looked to the woman and said “This is so great, I can’t wait to find out what you are like online!”
Many of us see that online dating means dating online. But what it in truth means – in other words, wherever it really succeeds – is that it gives us a chance to meet people online, get to know them, and then move on to spending time together in person and face-to-face. Get overly distracted by spending time on the Internet and you will lose track of the main objective, which is to meet people and have a fun relationship.
Be courteous, honest, and keep your sense of wit. Social etiquette counts just as much online as it does in person. If you tell someone you’re going to email them, for instance, follow through on your promise. Just as you would not stand someone up for a date or get-together offline, the same rules apply to online dating etiquette.
Protect your individuation, privacy, and security. You would not get into a car with a stranger or give all your personal information to someone you just met at a bar, so be mindful of the same security measures online. Get to know someone, and by all means trust your own instincts and intuitions. Keep in mind that there are many other other certified candidates for you to date, so you don’t have to pin all your hopes on the first person you bump into online. And you don’t have to give out more information about yourself than you are comfortable sharing.
Do share your information when the time is right. When it is appropriate – and after the interpersonal chemistry feels good and things are going well – you should start out to share more information with your potential romantic interests, so that you can move toward a face-to-face encounter. But begin slowly, maybe by swapping call up numbers. After you’ve talked on the phone for a while, arrange to meet in a public place for coffee or lunch, or to go out together in the fellowship of some friends.
Remember that online dating is intended to create an online chemistry that will lead to face-to-face romance. Of by nature if you like to socialize online, that is fine. But people who subscribe to dating sites expect you to be virtuous about continuing the relationship in person. They expect – as you should – to go to dating sites and find romance, not just use the sites as a way to pass the time without any social follow-through.
