Thailand is a magical place for both tourists, expats and retirees. I have yet to meet someone who have been to Thailand, who didn’t like it there. In fact, most people I know would like to go back again as soon as possible. A lot of guys from America, UK or elsewhere work in Thailand or have retired in Thailand. Naturally, most of them are or have been in a relationship with a Thai girl. Many have had bad experiences. In most cases this could have been avoided with knowing a little more about Thai culture and society before entering into a serious relationship.
I am not talking about the stuff you can read in travel books like no kissing in public, but about what expectations Thais have to foreigners and how they view interracial relationships.
Picture this: A young, attractive girl from the countryside goes to work in a bar. She’s never been out of the village before, let alone met any foreigners. Her daily life probably consisted of working in a rice paddy or falling asleep at some menial and boring job. Then she comes to Bangkok or Pattaya, with her head full of dreams and hopes. What she finds is a place where the neon lights are bright, every day is a party, drinking, sleeping until noon and then starting over.
For a young inexperienced girl anywhere, that kind of lifestyle has to be exciting. So, you see, when she meets you in a bar, is she really looking to settle down with a guy who is often significantly older than her?
Even if she is, is she ready to leave the easy work and big money behind and start working in a 9-5 job again? Leave her new friends and be the perfect stay at home wife? Most likely not.
The bar scene attracts a certain type on both sides of the equation. If you’re looking for a nice Thai woman to settle down with and eventually marry, then I recommend looking elsewhere.
So, if you meet a girl from this situation, try to keep in mind that where you have a lot of choice and likely grew up knowing that there was many options available to you, then a poor Thai girl do not have these options. Her chance of social mobility are quite limited and for many, being married to a foreigner means a much higher standard of living, not only for her but for her family. Speaking of families, the pressure from parents can be quite strong when they find out that she is dating a perceived rich foreigner.
So ask yourself: Am I ready to support my girlfriend/wife?
I believe many guys would be much happier if they tried meeting women from the middle class instead who are not looking for security but rather for experiences and freedom.
That’s why I generally tell my friend to meet Thai women online first.
You’d be amazed how many Thai women are interested in meeting you. And it’s definitely not only bar girls. Most of the time, the women you meet online are smart, educated women who want the freedom and stability a foreign man can provide. Believe it or not, Westerners still have a good reputation in Thailand.
So, go for it, sign up for a dating site and see what happens! You really have nothing to lose!
